Wow, that must be frustrating.
My 10 stop is a Breakthrough. But if you get a sharp image with your filter on another lens, then your filter is fine.
The fact that it went soft right away means that the lens is trying to automatically re-focus, which it doesn't do well with a dense filter. It shouldn't do that unless it's on S or C focus mode with Pre-AF enabled.
Make sure the focus mode selector switch on the front of the camera is set to M [manual], not C or S.