cup4sharks

IBIS and lens OIS are absolutely wonderful to have but as Boessu mentioned, proper technique will take care of the need for IBIS.  Holding the camera correctly and when there is a heavy lens, holding the lens with one hand while shooting, arms in close to the body will stabilize any camera.  Then for shooting, keep your shutter speed fast enough to cover any shake you are introducing.  The 1/focal length rule is a solid starting point to compensate for any shake that you introduce.  IBIS and OIS allow you to more easily shoot at speeds slower than that BUT isn't absolutely needed to do so.  Cameras for decades have not had any stabilization in them and millions upon millions of pictures have been taken that are tack sharp without it.
Only two of my lens have OIS on them and I have never had IBIS in any body and I shoot weddings in low light all the time without any problems.  I also shoot wildlife with long lens' and also have no problem.  If I can do it, anyone can do it. 

Having Fuji, Olympus and Sony, I would advise you to try an Olympus body: its IBIS technology is fantastic and would allow you to put that "extra-shake" behind your concerns. Or, if you really want to go Fuji, I guess you would be very happy with a 2nd-hand X-H1 (I had one and replaced it with an X-T3): it is heavier and the IBIS is also great. 
But I'd check the Olympus before anything...

cup4sharks - Have you worked any on shooting technique to minimize the hand shake? I learned a very long time ago that deep breath-exhale-hold-SHOOT is a technique that worked well for me at photography, shooting firearms, shooting bow and arrow, bowling, and even hammering nails.
I just turned 66, and I can you with certainty I am not as steady as I once was, but I can still shoot 1/30 without OIS using this technique. My wife has the same issue as you - she has never been able to shoot a clear photo, and this is working for her now.   
I don't have a Fuji body with IBIS, but I have three lenses with OIS, and the extra latitude for still shots is significant. I don't shoot video, so I can't comment on that.

Hello cup4sharks
I think your problem with IBIS will be mainly that it is quite expensive and I'm not sure you can compensate that with cheaper lenses (more on that below). If the X-T4 will include IBIS, it will be a more expensive camera than the XT-3 is. And of course a much more expensive camera than the X-T30 you look at. So if you "wait" for the X-T4, it's possible you'll wait for the "wrong" price range. I'm also pretty sure the X-T40, X-T50... won't have "physical" IBIS because of that for a long time.
But first you have to understand that camera IBIS is not the same like in-lens IS. IBIS does minimize the "flat" shaking on x, y axis and rolling. In-lens IS does minimize pitch and yaw. That's the reason why a XH-1 can combine both systems together. However, In-lens IS helps more for photos with long range lenses, while IBIS is generally helpful in movie situations. Facing that, I can imagine that in-lens image stabilization will help you more than IBIS. But I can't presume to be the judge of that, as I don't have that sort of problem. So the first advice I give you is: try to find out if you really need IBIS or if you have to buy IS lenses anyway. I can imagine you don't need both systems together, but as I said: how can I know that?!
Beside of that I'm pretty sure you need a more hefty camera. A X-T3 is a bigger camera which is less difficult to hold in the hands. If you buy a cheaper X-T30, I would recommend you to include a nice hand grip in your calculation.
If you have the time to wait, I would also set a watcher to the price of the X-H1. Rumors say it's not that of a success for Fuji and it is possible that they'll drop the price in a very foreseen future (it already dropped remarkable). If there really will be a X-T4 with IBIS released, I'm pretty sure X-H1 gets a rather hefty price drop if not even a sell-out. Saying that, the X-H1 wold get a true bargain in that situation.
Cheers